Looking To Change This Year? Here Are 12 Factors To Success

  1. Well, Cynthia, first of all, recognize you are not alone. There are millions of wonderful eligible men and women struggling with the same demoralizing dilemma, beating themselves up over it right now.
  2. The way out is not to change who you are. That is an unrealistic self-expectation.
  3. It is to build a new self-loving relationship with yourself.
  4. This involves taking daily actions on your own behalf — actions that allow you to give yourselves positive strokes for good behavior, i.e. sticking to a plan.
  5. Some of these actions include hands-on exercises, i.e. abandonment recovery tools that help you inculcate self-love and incrementally increase your self-esteem.
  6. As you progress, remember that perfectionism is not your friend. Perfectionism will defeat you.
  7. What you’re looking for is an improvement — even if slight — to create the required bump-up.
  8. This doesn’t happen by thinking about it, but by doing — performing self-loving actions that allow you to give yourself daily pats of approval.
  9. Yes, it’s a private thing between you and you — between Big You and Little You.
  10. Make a commitment to practice this program ongoing, so this growth will occur automatically.
  11. With daily practice, a bump-up is inevitable. No matter how small, it can be enough to get you over the hump. So the next time you start a new relationship, you are able to retain just a tiny bit more of yourself. And that the tiny improvement may be just enough to hang in there with the person, stay grounded, and establish a more equal footing, whether it’s with a lover, friend, or boss.
  12. Remember that giving up codependency and people-pleasing altogether are not prerequisites for happy long term relationships. It only takes the slightest improvement.

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Psychotherapist, Author, Abandonment Expert w/ 30+ years of clinical experience & dedicated research of #abandonment victims. Contact me: abandonment@erols.com.

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Susan Anderson

Susan Anderson

Psychotherapist, Author, Abandonment Expert w/ 30+ years of clinical experience & dedicated research of #abandonment victims. Contact me: abandonment@erols.com.

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